'Weight' loss

 So, today has me thinking about weight loss...something I was focused on for several years of my life and to be honest I still am to this day...

I am 5ft 3 and I weigh 10 stone - to some that may sound okay but being the height I am it looks a bit stocky for my frame (in my opinion) however, I do have quite a bit of muscle and for the most part, my stomach is flat but I don't tend to gain my weight around the stomach area, I am, as people call it "pear shape" - I have a fat ass and chunky thighs. 

For 90% of the time I eat 'healthy' - I usually have yoghurt and granola for breakfast with some berries - lunch is either a salad or a sandwich and tea is always different but will always include a lean source of protein (turkey/chicken/fish/tofu) and vegetables and carbs (usually rice/sweet potato/noodles etc.). I work out 4/5 times a week and try and stay active. 

I don't think the food I put into my body is unhealthy, and I don't think I excessively overeat or binge or anything like that. I just think I am complacent and so is my body. 

I like to listen to my body and the signals it gives me but sometimes, especially during menstruation (pre and post), this can be hard. I don't know if this is common in other women but the week before my period I have no appetite, I don't feel hungry and I don't 'feel' like any type of food in particular. It's weird and my eating habits go out the window, snacking has always been an issue for me as I don't like big meals so I graze throughout the day but as we know the calories can add up that way. 

My point is, I was overcritical of myself and what I put into my body for so many years that I don't want to be that way again and losing weight scares me because I will have to look at what I eat more carefully - tracking sets off my eating disorder usually but I am hoping now I have grown I can use it for my benefit.

It is pretty simple, you have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight, its scientific, but also I don't want to lose the muscle I already have so that for me is a balancing game. And for me, as a pear-shaped woman, getting those extra pounds off can be harder. 

At first, I want to wean myself in slowly by making small changes day by day - to just do a massive overhaul will always fail (in my experience). I want to then set myself a fitness goal to work towards and set myself some weight goals for the future. 

Small things I will change:

• Higher intensity cardio
• Longer workout sessions 
• Cutting out extras (crisps/biscuits) 
• Drinking more water (I always forget) 
• Walk more (even though the weather is horrible)
• Staying positive (as best I can)
• Using 'me' time for face masks/baths/writing/reading (not just food)

Do not get me wrong, I don't think I'm fat and I don't hate myself (like I used to) - I just want to be a bit slimmer and fit into jeans properly...haha. 

I will not cut things out and I intend to enjoy myself - especially at Christmas. But, I feel I have become lazy and content and I want to strive to better, that's the sort of person I am and however much I try to suppress that it won't go away.

Here's to new goals and bettering yourself!