Just feeling a bit...rubbish

 Hi All,

It is Saturday night and for some reason, I am fed up, bored, and emotional. 

I wish I could pinpoint exactly why I am feeling like this but if I had to take a stab in the dark I would say;

Lockdown/COVID-19: This has been a difficult time for everyone and is certainly an anxiety-inducing time for me. From a personal standpoint, I am well and truly fed up of seeing the same four walls day in and day out. I am a person who likes to get out of the house, whether that's going for a walk/run/bike/drive I don't care what it is I like to be out in the fresh air, however, with all of this going on I am still anxious about stepping outside, I feel as if people have stopped taking this whole pandemic seriously anymore and are just doing as they please - well, shocker, it is still out there and we still need to be careful, so put on a face mask and stand away from me please and thanks. I would love to go out to a restaurant or pub but I do not trust people one bit, sorry, and who can say that they have their wits about them when they're drunk? Nobody...

Weather: Today is the first day it has been sunny for weeks, for some reason here in the north it would not stop raining! Bring on the summer, please!

Boredom: Some days I literally don't know what to do with myself...I sit and watch garbage TV and eat dairy-free ice cream most days. I am trying to get back into singing but I never think what I have recorded is good enough...I probably never will? I work out most days but nothing seems to be inspiring me - I want to slim down a bit and tone up but I have no drive to do so. 

The News:  I know what the news is for, I am not naive nor am I stupid but I hate to say it, everything in the world right now is so depressing - people dying every single day from an unknown virus, explosions in Beruit, stabbings, riots, elections, racism, the list goes on...and frankly it's upsetting.

No socialising: I never thought not seeing people would bother me but it turns out I am not as much of a lone ranger as I would like to believe...I never thought I would say this but I miss the office environment, seeing people every day, having a quick chat at someone's desk, going for a walk at lunch, just little things that kept me going throughout the day. I miss popping round someone's house for a cup of tea or going to see family. It's the little things you start to miss when you can't do them.

Travelling: The last couple of years I have really got into travelling with my husband, before then I had been on a handful of holidays usually with my mother, and usually to Italy (she liked Italy) but my first holiday with my husband was to Japan (I don't know how I managed I hate flying) but I did, then we went to Vienna, Bratislava, Paris and some places in the UK. Again, I never thought I'd say this but I miss it and I wish I could have gone abroad for my birthday in October but I am not chancing it yet! 

Anyway enough moaning, I have vented and I feel a little better for it. 

How are you feeling at the moment? Has lockdown taken its toll?

Until next time!

Ciao.