Sticks and stones may break my bones...
...but words always hurt me.
This may come as a surprise to a lot of people who know me but I am a very sensitive person. Every word someone says to me goes straight into my head and into my heart. Recently, whilst trying to complete my MA I have had a lot of feedback from my tutors, and well, it has hit me hard and makes me wonder if I am destined to be a writer or not...
When I was younger there was nothing I loved more than a good book, I was quiet and liked to keep myself to myself but as I grew older I noticed that because I didn't move much I became fat and sluggish. Today, I barely read at all and this makes me so sad, and I really think that my lack of reading is the reason why my writing has gone down hill. I used to pride myself on being one of the best at English and now...I'd rather be outside...or at the gym...or with my friends.
There came a point in my life, when I was 18 (thereabouts) when I realised that moving, eating right, spending time with my friends and living with the person I loved were the only things I needed to make me happy, however, this is part of the reason that I got a low grade in my degree. Nevertheless, I still stand by the notion that in this world you need a couple of things to succeed and not one of those things is a degree...
I believe that confidence and good contacts/connections are the two things that will help you get on (career wise) in this world. And I lack in both.
Another factor that doesn't help my cause is I feel like I jump from one career to the next in the hope of finding something that suits me. I wanted to be an actress or singer at first but my confidence was knocked when I auditioned for loads of colleges and got rejected from every single one of them. And so, I turned to a 'sensible' degree like English Literature, even though I knew in my heart of hearts that my academic streak had run its course, I was right. I have always worked in retail as well and I'm not actually that bad at it, but the pay isn't great and I would rather not work weekends...
I mean look at my writing now...it's like a stream of consciousness novel, flitting from one idea to the next.
Back on topic - I am still searching for the right job, I am still trying to figure myself out and I know that one day everything will fall into place. But for now, my confidence is low, my self-esteem is non-existent and if I don't get rid of some weight soon...I will scream. My social life consists of me hanging out with my boyfriend and/or my thirteen-year-old sister...I need a life?
And look, when it comes to fitness, you are going to have days/weeks maybe even months when you're feeling down, but it can help you, and if not, don't worry, there is always the next day and the day after that. I give up far too easily and I need to stop it.
Like a lot of people I know, I let people's opinions of me affect me FAR too much and I need to strive on, no matter what the outcome, so here's to doing stuff that scares you and things you never thought you could do - let's do it together! one step at a time.
And I say this in the most heartfelt way I can, the only person who can truly help you - is yourself.
Let's keep striving, for the better.
This may come as a surprise to a lot of people who know me but I am a very sensitive person. Every word someone says to me goes straight into my head and into my heart. Recently, whilst trying to complete my MA I have had a lot of feedback from my tutors, and well, it has hit me hard and makes me wonder if I am destined to be a writer or not...
When I was younger there was nothing I loved more than a good book, I was quiet and liked to keep myself to myself but as I grew older I noticed that because I didn't move much I became fat and sluggish. Today, I barely read at all and this makes me so sad, and I really think that my lack of reading is the reason why my writing has gone down hill. I used to pride myself on being one of the best at English and now...I'd rather be outside...or at the gym...or with my friends.
There came a point in my life, when I was 18 (thereabouts) when I realised that moving, eating right, spending time with my friends and living with the person I loved were the only things I needed to make me happy, however, this is part of the reason that I got a low grade in my degree. Nevertheless, I still stand by the notion that in this world you need a couple of things to succeed and not one of those things is a degree...
I believe that confidence and good contacts/connections are the two things that will help you get on (career wise) in this world. And I lack in both.
Another factor that doesn't help my cause is I feel like I jump from one career to the next in the hope of finding something that suits me. I wanted to be an actress or singer at first but my confidence was knocked when I auditioned for loads of colleges and got rejected from every single one of them. And so, I turned to a 'sensible' degree like English Literature, even though I knew in my heart of hearts that my academic streak had run its course, I was right. I have always worked in retail as well and I'm not actually that bad at it, but the pay isn't great and I would rather not work weekends...
I mean look at my writing now...it's like a stream of consciousness novel, flitting from one idea to the next.
Back on topic - I am still searching for the right job, I am still trying to figure myself out and I know that one day everything will fall into place. But for now, my confidence is low, my self-esteem is non-existent and if I don't get rid of some weight soon...I will scream. My social life consists of me hanging out with my boyfriend and/or my thirteen-year-old sister...I need a life?
And look, when it comes to fitness, you are going to have days/weeks maybe even months when you're feeling down, but it can help you, and if not, don't worry, there is always the next day and the day after that. I give up far too easily and I need to stop it.
Like a lot of people I know, I let people's opinions of me affect me FAR too much and I need to strive on, no matter what the outcome, so here's to doing stuff that scares you and things you never thought you could do - let's do it together! one step at a time.
And I say this in the most heartfelt way I can, the only person who can truly help you - is yourself.
Let's keep striving, for the better.
